All light carries shadow. People are often in denial of this truth and I understand darkness is hard to acknowledge. After climbing up the hill—working so hard for something, we don't want another obstacle or annoyance to deal with. There was a time I struggled to acknowledge this. We seem to just go along in our applications of good behavior and disciplined routines, hoping somehow it will eventually wash the bullshit away instead of really understanding that the bullshit is intricately tied in with the good. This is one reason I speak so much about living in balance and seeking understanding of the duality that is present in this world. Because the two are connected, like two seemingly separate sides of the same coin. There really isn't a separation despite hoping that all darkness will eventually disappear. Acknowledging the light and dark that exists within all things is not an easy task, but it is essential to understanding ourselves, others, and effectively navigating our behaviors. Denying one side or the other will lead to the detrimental consequences of system mismanagement, whether we are referring to a business or personal development.
Each of us has experienced the shadow that lingers within the light because of their entangled existence, in the same way that it is impossible to separate perception (the interpretation) from experience. To explain it further, I mean that there is always a part of every glorified experience or achievement that is not so glorious. Sacrifice lingers in the shadow of every perceived freedom. For example, one who is free of the challenges that accompany close relationships risks being shadowed by loneliness or lack of intimacy whereas one who is in a committed relationship can be shadowed by unwanted compromise. There are things that we give up in exchange for every obtainment. As you give time and effort into helping others, there is less time to take care of yourself, etc.
I tried to balance the security of routine with the longing for adventure throughout past years when seeking the wisdom of diverse experiences. In general, people admired and at times, even envied my eagerness to explore fearlessly without realizing that I also suffered from the stress of repeatedly starting over in new communities. As a result of sacrificing comfort for a deeper understanding of the world, I failed to make lasting connections or network in ways that I could rely on later. I found that though I had gained much knowledge, a jack-of-all trades is often seen as unreliable. Once my desire for adventure settled and my preference changed to a steadier route, the areas I strived to be accepted in did not view me as an asset after I had fled their club in exchange for the wisdom of the world. I found that many take your leaving as personal betrayal regardless of reasoning that it was to make things better upon your return. And when we do return, not only is the new and improved version of ourselves not always well-received, but we often find the world to be much different than when we left it or that what we romanticized has completely faded from existence altogether. I experienced this very thing when I left home in exchange for a bigger life, excited to return at the "right" moment to share what I had discovered with my grandmother. Failing to acknowledge that our timelines were not focused in the same way, my big return ended up being on the doors of an empty house as she had moved on from the world before I had gathered any evidence of a story worth telling. My sorrow was more than the grief of her passing, but also carried the shame of my short-sighted understanding of time and perception.
Though my personal growth, experience, and level of knowledge have benefited from veering from sameness security, at times I wonder if the gain was worth the sacrifice. For me, I think so, because I would have slowly died had I remained in small-town America or chosen the normal routine of the majority. However, a path free from the mundane of the norm certainly came with a cost. My point is, that when we don't acknowledge that there is darkness accompanying the light, the shadow of all good things sort of just hits you between the eyes. Sometimes this can send you into an "I'll never do that again" state in an attempt to avoid the darker side of transformative experiences. To reduce the stress and fear of heartache, many often give up the desired in exchange for what is known or comfortable. This is when the threat of being zombified by life really starts to increase. Being trapped by fear and choosing the same when we are being pulled by the unknown may mean more security, but it also means less neurological activity/development…and less chance of fulfillment. Society likes this. You are less trouble when you stay in line, stay in sync with what is, don't complain, don't change…even when the effects of doing so are detrimental. Your soul on the other hand, not so much.
When we run into the shadow that lingers in all attainment, we often believe that what we set out to do was the wrong choice. That we should have listened to those who follow the rules and keep those dreams or goals buried to avoid the risk of reaching for the new. They misunderstand though. It isn't that it was wrong to go after the new and improved, we just failed to acknowledge the inevitable darker aspects that accompanied the trophies we work for. This doesn't mean you don't go after your dreams or new goals, of course, because that choice is soul-death-assured. We just must become more flexible in our view of the right path. By acknowledging that there are unwanted components that accompany the gain and readying yourself to alter behavior when you encounter the obstacles, you can better prepare yourself to manage the path. With this understanding, we find the strength to continue forward beyond where we currently stand while embracing both gains and losses.
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