The amount of criticism that riddles society on minor and major issues fascinates me. I have yet to visit a comment section beneath a social media post free of criticism or hate. Some say throwing shade is just part of the commenter game, and perhaps many are just, as they say, "trolling." However, it often seems that many of the population thrive off of causing as much pain as possible for others while wearing a mask of civility and arrogance. I naïvely believed people would stop trying to hurt others at some point in my idealistic interpersonal dreams. You know...somehow become better at attempting to encourage others... Instead of condemning and imposing their lifestyle on others, at some point, they would start trying to understand and unite as they reach for a new level. But upon witnessing the free delivery of hate, I've wondered if there is some truth to the notion that most humans are inherently evil. I reflect on how I never had the desire to harm another person that wasn't deliberately provoked, which leads me to ponder the possibility that perhaps there are different types of humans. Regardless, to imagine a world where most people were encouraging, helpful, and loving seems miraculous. Throughout my life, however, I have seen more repetitive destructive cycles in the masses while my idea of what the world could become fades into the void.
We all have had others get us wrong at one point or another, as we have misjudged others. Even as research generalizes a group similar to you, you have likely thought (when your self-evaluation was honest), That isn't how I am. Your life may have even produced opposite results from what research has suggested for your demographics, age, gender, or socioeconomic status. This is why I never understood why minorities judged other minorities for the hated stereotypes they were also stigmatized by. One would think they would use their discrimination commonality to understand other groups better. When I worked with at-risk inmates in the past, I witnessed this often. Some would demonstrate moments of growth in perception and boast in pride at their ability to see beyond stereotypes of other races, only to generalize and condemn women without hesitation for the stigmas they had formed about gender.
We also all have experienced the results of people spreading false allegations about us without proof or reason—how it felt to be wrongly accused of something—perhaps even targeted by those with more power. Despite having personally experienced the pain of false accusations and betrayal, many still readily participate in spreading falsities and cheer the burnings, hating, and condemning of others. No matter if it is a hero or peasant, humans seem to delight in the failure of others. It remains difficult for me to accept how people so eagerly participate in doing something they wouldn't want to be done to them. So much for the success of the golden rule, or basic decency, for that matter…
I can understand reactionary behaviors in certain situations…you know…those below-the-belt insults that fly out in anger or defensiveness. I'm not condoning lack of control for most situations, but it is a little easier to understand in-context behaviors. This…wishing people were dead because they disagree with you? Sneering at a friend's success because it reminds you of your own inadequacy? Feeling good when others fail and getting upset when they succeed is a mark of self-imbalance and self-hate, no matter where you claim to land on the scale of evolution.
I can also understand the satisfaction of others receiving their due on the karmic wheel, especially when that individual directed ill-will specifically toward us. However, what I am discussing here is much more than that. When a sense of superiority floods our being and we participate in publicly condemning those we don't even know, we are no different than those in the past we categorized as brutal or savage. We may not be jeering and cheering at a literal burning at stake, but I have no doubt the courts would flood with enthusiasts if we still held public hangings without fair trials. Perhaps some may deserve it, but failure to learn whether they do seems to be often bypassed in favor of the chance to ridicule and punish.
If you are participating in behavior that you hate being done to you, you must ask why. Could negative self-judgment or feelings of inadequacy be at the root? If you are basing any belief or judgment on what you have heard or seen (whether it is from media, the church, friend, or family), then you are basing your perception on the voice of others, which is always filtered through a biased or agenda-driven lens (consciously or unconsciously). When information is delivered from low-level perspectives or by those wanting to control how information is seen, then it is probable the information is misconstrued. Regardless of the quality of information, you can still choose to withhold condemnation. It all falls back to the fact that you weren't there, so you don't really know. You don't know agendas, the dynamics, the mental, emotional, and behavioral imbalances, the actual truths on all sides…you don't know why something was done or not…you just don't KNOW. Everything told is passed through subjective interpretation. Our minds do this when we interpret any circumstance... even when we witness an event firsthand. This means that you may or may not interpret the situation accurately because it depends on your self-awareness, emotional and mental balance, and experience…. And you can guess the percentage of the population—leaders or otherwise—who strive to be balanced, understanding, and objective as possible when giving you the "scoop." It likely isn't high.
There is nothing wrong with listening and thinking about people, even discussing their behavior to gain clarification. Striving to understand others is one way to come to terms with accepting and understanding issues within ourselves. However, remaining neutral until more truth is revealed or even reserving thought entirely is more mature and healthier than foreclosing on a biased view. If you are participating in the condemnation of others that you feel somehow deserve it based on what others have told you, then external focus and evaluation may need to be turned inward. Ripping others to shreds to make ourselves feel better or because it is what everyone is doing to the person in the limelight is only a testimony to how far we have not evolved. As some have discovered, you may eventually experience the same situation you've readily sneered at others for. However, the threat of consequence should not be the reason you stop the momentum of condemnation, but the desire to be a representation of something more than the average societal group you stand in the midst of.
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